Some days are meant for soaking in the quiet solitude that Autumn allows with its cool, crisp breeze making leaf shadows dance delicately on your dining room wall. For tea drinking and writing. For cuddling your sensitive, little kiddo while she sheds tears over small things and your heart aches silently with complete understanding and empathy. For not needing to pinpoint exactly what you're feeling, but just to feel and feel deeply, and know that this is ok. This week holds those days for me.
October is my favorite, my birth month and a beautiful, memorable, reminiscent, transitional time of year… also being the month in which my father died 8 years ago, it carries with it a heavy weight and deep sense of loss. As the trees lose their fullness and the grass its green-ness, I am reminded of my loss and the letting go. The grief and the tears, the empty feelings and the wonderful, full memories of past Autumns with my father. I grow older and celebrate my birth on the same day as my father's burial. The irony of burying your father on the day you were born, well, it's all just a perfect example of how life goes on, how we grow and change, and how we all must prepare for endings and new beginnings constantly. The trees lose their leaves, with no regret. They just let go. It's not quite so easy for humans, but it is a necessary part of life that we must learn to accept. At this point, learning acceptance in each moment has become a key aspect of my life, and the greatest acceptance of all is to accept the rising and falling of bliss and suffering, the constant ebb and flow of joy and pain. It's a delicate dance between these natural opposites and it's messy and beautiful all at once.
Led Zeppelin- Stairway To Heaven
Keaton Henson- If I'm To Die
Gregory Alan Isakov- Stable Song